my today
ode to fall finals week and my longest burnout streak yet
longer! i need longer! more time to recover before the cycle starts again! it’s just this empty sense of feeling is too stubborn to give into dissipation. or maybe it's a cry for the opposite, to be filled with something of substance before it stops its begging? i’m working on it. but i don’t think i can tell anymore. in reality, i could. i’m just much too lazy to. in the same way i’m much too lazy to go downstairs and face my mom so i can get myself my first meal of the day. or in the same way i’m too lazy to finish a paper i have due at 11:59 p.m. tomorrow.
both points, lackluster. to many, this is something so comically trivial and uncomplicated to be considered an issue. either way! it’s always the same fucking questions. oh why do all these deadlines creep up on me so suddenly? why doesn’t anybody love me? why can’t i find someone to tear open my body and soul, to touch me at night when the craving is at its most palpable? the all-encapsulating excuse is simple. i am tired. and right now, nothing else in this world sounds more tantalizing than rotting in my bed, splayed out underneath my covers, boxed within my four walls.